It's Been a Whirlwind

I have been awake since 4am with a headache, and as I was sitting in the recliner my mind started to wander. I starting thinking about the last 2 1/2 months and what all has happened. I honestly cannot believe the difference 2 1/2 months and a new set of lungs can make.

In August my Mom and I came up to Duke for the transplant evaluation. I was excited, but obviously not feeling my best. We went through the first couple of days all right. I was on a lot of oxygen and Mom had to push me around in a wheelchair when we went to the hospital because it was just too much walking for me. By the middle of the week I was already exhausted. Our appointment that day was with Dr. Zaas, one of the transplant doctors. I remember telling Mom, "I don't know if I can do this". She offered to pack up the car and drive home, immediately to the hospital (MUSC) for treatment. Me being stubborn said, "I can't, I have to finish this". Thank God we went to that appointment, because once he saw the condition I was in, and how much oxygen I was using at rest, he decided to admit me to the hospital and get me on the transplant list ASAP.

The next week was basically meeting all the doctors up here at Duke (pulmonary team) and trying to figure out the best IV meds to treat my infection. I also completed what tests I could for the rest of the evaluation. I was having to wear my BIPAP all the time at this point to keep my oxygen saturation above 88%. A BIPAP is a mask you wear and it helps you to breathe by forcing air into your lungs, that way you don't have to exert as much effort to breathe. Mine just fit over my nose, so that way my mouth was free to talk and eat (Thank God :) ). I lost strength pretty fast, getting winded just to walk from the bed to the bathroom. Mom had to start to help me bathe, and pretty much anything else that involved standing, walking, or getting up. It was not looking too good. 

The following week I was listed. I remember signing the papers praying to God to let the transplant come soon. My Dad was there with me when I signed all the papers. I honestly don't think I really read any of the consent forms. At that point, I was willing to do anything to just be well again. 

I believe it was just 4 days after I signed the papers that I got my first call. She called the night of September 8th 2010 saying that they might have some lungs for me. I, of course, starting flipping out and calling my Mom to tell her. We didn't know at that time if the lungs were good and if everything was a go for surgery, and we wouldn't know for sure until about 3am the next morning. I stayed up the whole night waiting for her call. Nurses were in and out of the room getting me ready (They have to prep you for surgery as if it is the real thing, even if they aren't sure the condition of the lungs) to go at any minute. When she called to say it was a go and everything looked good, I remember being so nervous I couldn't even think straight. I was also extremely excited. And scared. Correction: Terrified. I got on the phone, I think I may have even hung up on the woman who called me (oops), and called my Mom and Dad to tell them to get over to the hospital, "It's a Go!" By the time they got there I was about to be taken down to surgery. The anesthesiologist took me down to the operating room and I remember him talking to me, but I have no clue what he said now. He gave me some pretty good sleepy time medicine and I was out like a light. For about 8 hours I believe. 

Next thing I know I'm in the Recovery Room ICU trying to breathe. It seems like everyone asks me, "What was it like to wake up and be able to breathe?" Well, I actually couldn't breathe when I woke up. I was on a respirator, but they wanted to take me off of it so I had to show them that I could breathe on my own. The thing about transplanted lungs is that your body doesn't recognize them because they aren't yours. So when they are trying to breathe, your brain doesn't realize it and it is telling you that you CAN'T breathe even though you are. Crazy, huh? So basically you feel like you are suffocating. Just those first few breaths though, then your body slowly gets used to it. Now you see what I mean by whirlwind.

Mom says they had me up and walking the day after surgery. I remember none of this, but they were impressed with my progress and I moved to the Step Down Unit in a few days. This was much better because my family could come visit and stay as long as they wanted. In ICU they could only stay for 20 minutes at a time and only 2 people at a time.

I still don't remember much about this either. I had an IV in my neck (carotid artery) so they could deliver meds quickly during and after surgery. Mom said when I first came out of surgery, they had 10 IVs hooked up to it all running in at the same time. The highest chance of rejection is right after surgery so that's why they put you on so many drugs. They even give you a dose before the operation. But anyways..I remember having my "happy button". Which was my pain killer coming through an epidural that was placed at the top of my spine. They put it in when I was still out of it, so thankfully I do not remember that. I had 7 chest tubes in, 5 big, 2 small, and a nice incision from my left armpit to my right armpit with 70 staples running across it. So needless to say, me and the "happy button" became the best of friends.

The sucky thing about it was that since I was under anesthesia for so long and had just undergone major surgery, everything in my body was still acting like it was asleep (or at least really groggy). So I couldn't swallow correctly for awhile, my stomach was very sluggish for a while, which led to a laxative and enema..YUCKKKK! And my muscles were mush. The only cure for those things is time...and exercise. The physical therapists had me up and walking laps around the Unit in no time. I will admit I did not like to see them coming to my room, but I'm thankful for them everyday because they are part of the reason why my recovery moved so quickly.

The worst part by FAR had to have been when they removed my chest tubes. Two words: Living Hell. I'm sorry, but I could not wish that pain upon my worst enemy. Thankfully she only took 3 out the first time, 2 the second, and then the small ones the third time right before I went home. It literally feels like they are pulling, no, yanking your insides out. But right after that experience came the best experience of my new life so far....with all the tubes out of me my lungs had room to expand and I got my first REAL breath of air. It was the most amazing experience. I started crying and Mom said, "What's wrong?", and all I could say was, "I can breathe." So I had the worst experience and the best all within about half an hour of each other. God's funny that way. 

So, with things moving right along I was discharged from the hospital about a week after my transplant. And here we are today,  October 18th and I'm still getting better! Rehab is going great..I walked 17 laps around the track the other day in my 30 minutes. I went up a level on my weights and resistance band. I have 11 sessions in, so that puts me about half way until I can graduate! I am so grateful for this gift of life given to me by a selfless donor who is my hero. They gave me a second chance at life and it is impossible to show my gratitude as well as sympathy to the family of this amazing person. My only wish is that my brother had the same opportunities that I have been given.

Well, I know this has been an unusually long blog, but I just felt like writing some of this stuff down. Just in case I get more anesthesia and forget everything again, ha ha. I hope you enjoyed reading though. Thank you for the continued support and love. I miss you all and love you even more! :)